| i never know what's wrong |
[03 Sep 2005|05:26pm] |
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So, today overall was an okay day... i just hate it when i bottle something up inside of me and it puts me in a bad mood... see for the most part i hate to fight or argue... so i just dont deal with something and then im in a bad mood all day... but you know what im weird and im sometimes annoying and a mostly just an attention hog... im the kind of person doesnt understand how someone could say they love someone eles but when that person comes up to you to be affectionate, how could you trun them away?? i dont know... all i know is i dont like fights because there are no winners really... and i cant keep bottling stuff up inside me, becuase thats how things build up and put me ina bad mood.... and later i never know what's wrong with me and why i act the way i do... i guess i just want to have my feelings aknowalged and not just attributed to me being crazy...
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[19 Apr 2005|02:11pm] |
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Well i woke up this morning at 7:45 and drove my brother to shool. and when i got home i went for a run through my neighborhood and i took pictures to send to Nabil. it 300 mi from here to San Jose, in case you were wondering. but it felt so go to be out in the morning. it was fresh and cool and damp and dark because it was cloudy. The fog made it feel as thou it were raining. by the time i sat down to do my home the came out and gave me the best lighting to do my homework. i finished my homework and talked to jeremy in the morning then i lunch with James Padilla that was weird but i miss the guy and it was nice to see him again. drove my mom to LA. went to cost co. and then came home to clean my room it was a busy day off but the morning was wonderful.
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| Nessa and Billy sitting in a tree |
[03 Apr 2005|12:08pm] |
so yea im in a comiited relationship... so what?
he lives in NorCal San Jose. i miss him So Much. his name is Nabeile or Billy. i like Nabeile. he is 1/2 french 1/2 black. he is a surfer, who runs track and plays basketball. he is too cute and yea i dont care if this was a little mushy.
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| Im SO HAPPY!!!!! |
[03 Apr 2005|11:32am] |
So about five day ago i meet this guy Billy. I honestly didnt think much of him when i meet him except for "this boy is hot." i treated him like all the other guys before him. i was cute and he was charming and one thing lead to another. 2 hours after we first meet i slept with him, i felt kinda bad because i had made a pack to myself to stop sleeping with complete stranger, and well he was a complete stranger. the first time we sleep togetherhe was disappointed in him self and could not believe he had came so fast. So later that night he calls to redeem himself. i figure this guy is no quitter. And you know me i love a trooper. well we ended up seeing eachother that night again and this time i was shoocked at my proformance i was there and back in 15 min and i went there and back so many times that night. 3/29/05
3/30/05The next time i saw him was the next night. i should explain that kim' boyfriends cousin Rico is Billy's best friend and that's why billy was down here. he lives in San Jose and goes to San Jose State. and i meet him when kim was sleeping with rico. well we we got to old town he greeted me with a big hugg and we walked down the street him hold me and our eyes would meet from across all the people we were with and that's when i knew i liked this boy. later that night we went back to rico's house and we laid on the couch together and he was rubbing my stomach i was so comfortable i was falling asleep but then he gave me a kiss and i just wanted him. so we went into rico's room and he told me he didnt have a condom. i was ready to say fuck it we dont need one. but he was such a gentlemen he couldnt and i guess neither could i. i had so much respect for him after that. later we found one and it was great!!!!!!!!!!!! SO UNBELIEVABLE!!!
then one friday night his last night here. i took him into my room and held him for hours. i told him i was going to miss him. he told me he didnt want to go. i was so unexpected but so great. we agreed to not sleep with other people and to call everyday. i miss him so much. when he left i almost felt like crying. but he called me back and said he had to see me one more time. it felt so good to see him again. and that's when i knew things would be okay because everytime he vists now or i go up to see him it will feel that good. and i said good bye again and it was hard. but now i know why people have bf and gf because it feels so great.
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[03 Apr 2005|11:19am] |
"Happy birthday to you
happy brithday to you
happy brithday dear dezi
happy brithday to you"
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[17 Mar 2005|01:55pm] |
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[10 Mar 2005|09:46pm] |
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okay today was a long day and i did a lot of nothing
started my critical thinking final almost done and its not due till tuesday
road the bus at school three times for the first time ever. it was what was missing in my life. now i dont have to walk up that dam hill anymore. i probley should cuz it like the only exercise i get on tuesdays and thursdays
math wasnt so bad.
please oh pretty please who do i have to sleep with to talk to someone that knows something about transfer credits at cal poly. jesus i spent about an hour running around the admin building trying to talk to anyone hwo would lison. stupid people gave me the run around and i couldnt even get a copy of my unoffical transcripts.
then i went with kim to every dept of engeneering (she is changing her major) and picked up graduation flow charts
and econ justed dragged
then i came home to an empty house. how depressing. picked up my brother to take him to practise and went to wendys for dinner with my mom
im now burning her a cd. and it was painful she told me she wanted ghetto music that she could dance to i played her Dr. Dre and Jayz and she end up making an R. Kelly/Pheral cd, her bad taste boggles me. when tootles.
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| me and snoop |
[09 Mar 2005|08:05pm] |
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so i found this old book from 10th grade abert campus "the stanger" this was the first philosopy book i've ever read. it was this book that started me on philosophy. im really happy with my major now. i think philosophy is the major u choose when your good at different things and you have a hard time making decisions. but good news is that philosophy majors do better than any other major on the LSATs. im now reading alain de botton "the constolations of philosophy" its pretty interseting...
the bomb:
anyways i made the decsion on monday to quit smoking. hey snoop did it why cant i. (sure he started up again a year later but he wwent a whole year with out it an he is snoop) ive decsided to be a better rolemodle for my brother and i really love him so much and im not okay with being his older druggy sister. so im kicking the habbits-sssssssssss. i said habbits because i had recently picked up a stronger habbit with speed. i did it at first to lose weight but now i couldnt justify it anymore. so along with my vow to be healthier im on the road to a healthy life. it hasnt been that hard but then again i havent seen my druggy friends lately, i dont think i will any time soon. it would be too hard to be around it right now. im just trying to find myself with out drugs. you know i think i use them to escape reality and its time to stop putting it off. honestly i miss it, i miss it a lot but it wasnt helping me anymore. but im not going to lie it was sooooooooooooooooooooooo fun while it lasted.
my reading has allowed me to expained my mind and get me thinking about how i can justify drugs and when i can i might start up again but untill then im smoke free nessa now. like my friend sean saids "its the college" and it is.
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[02 Mar 2005|07:14pm] |
[mood - nastalgic]
i find myself staring off into space a lot lately... no its not the weed, its just i feel like i live my life by a certian code and there is a lot of hypocrascy in that code and it used to make sense before. but now i feel like those hypocrascy are getting harded and hard to justify. but im one of those people who like to aviod confrontation (unless ur a skinny white bitch in which case ill knock ur teeth out if u step on my shoe or look at me funny, hey that's just how things are) i feel like i do things for other people not expecting them to return the favor but hoping that people will understand that that's how i show love and that if want to show me love i would recieve the message more clearly if they spoke my lang....
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[01 Mar 2005|11:17pm] |
maybe not the last one...
or the 1st one come to think of it
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| war is good for gas prices right? |
[15 Nov 2004|06:39pm] |
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in case you couldnt do the calculations in your haed between the arab world and russia they control just about half of the the world's oil 45% to be exact. this means if we have a leader that pisses off all of the arab world and russia we will never see low gas prices again. see bush has to charge us more (even though crude oil is at a 2 month low, cheek wesnday when us dept. of energy will release an inventory statement, ie we have a lot thet we are hoarding for a rainy day) to avoid a fuel crisis like the that hit the us in the 1970's. All of this is why we are paying 2.19 a gallon for some crap that the goverment buys whole sale for a fraction of a cent.
Right after 9-11, the usa was looked at as a victum of a crime but the mintue he entered iraq (mainy to fufill a promiss made to chenny when they first descided to run for ofice, and for Rummfel to recieve defence budget of world conquest proportions, but anyways) he turned every arab nation agaist us.
Million barrels per dayn
Oct. 1999 Sept. 1999
OPEC - Crude Oil
Saudi Arabia 7.40 7.40
Iran 3.27 3.22
Iraq 2.80 2.86
United Arab Emirates 2.02 2.03
Kuwait 1.63 1.59
Neutral Zone 0.51 0.49
Qatar 0.63 0.62
Nigeria 1.98 1.94
Libya 1.34 1.33
Algeria 0.74 0.74
Venezuela 2.73 2.73
Indonesia 1.28 1.28
NGLs & condensate 2.85 2.85
Total OPEC 29.18 29.08
OECD(1)
U.S. 8.04 7.87
Mexico 3.33 3.28
Canada 2.55 2.50
United Kingdom 3.01 2.83
Norway 3.15 3.02
Europe-others 0.71 0.70
Australia 0.64 0.64
Pacific-others 0.07 0.07
Total OECD 21.50 20.91
Non-OECD
Former USSR 7.54 7.53
China 3.18 3.19
Malaysia 0.73 0.73
India 0.74 0.74
Asia-others 0.79 0.79
Europe 0.19 0.19
Brazil 1.42 1.41
Argentina 0.85 0.85
Colombia 0.83 0.84
Ecuador 0.37 0.38
Latin America-others 0.37 0.36
Oman 0.89 0.90
Syria 0.53 0.53
Yemen 0.41 0.41
Egypt 0.84 0.84
Angola 0.77 0.77
Gabon 0.34 0.33
Africa-others 0.91 0.90
Total Non-OECD 21.70 21.69
Processing Gains(2) 1.69 1.65
TOTAL SUPPLY 74.07 73.33
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| more "good" news |
[15 Nov 2004|06:22pm] |
http://www.eff.org/Privacy/Surveillance/Terrorism/20011031_eff_usa_patriot_analysis.php
Executive Summary
Chief Concerns
The EFF's chief concerns with PATRIOT include:
Expanded Surveillance With Reduced Checks and Balances. PATRIOT expands all four traditional tools of surveillance used by law enforcement -- wiretaps, search warrants, pen/trap orders and subpoenas. Their counterparts under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) that allow spying in the U.S. by foreign intelligence agencies have similarly been expanded. This means:
Be careful what you read on the Internet. The government may now monitor the online activities of innocent Americans, and perhaps even track what Web sites you read, by merely telling a judge anywhere in the U.S. that the spying could lead to information that is "relevant" to an ongoing criminal investigation. The person spied on does not have to be the target of the investigation. This application must be granted and the government is not obligated to report to the court or tell the person spied upon what it has done.
Nationwide roving wiretaps. FBI and CIA can now go from phone to phone, computer to computer without demonstrating that each is being used by a suspect or target of an order, or even specifically identifying the person targeted. The government may now serve a single Title III wiretap, FISA wiretap or pen/trap order on any person or entity nationwide, regardless of whether that person or entity is named in the order. The government need not make any showing to a court that the particular information or communication to be acquired is relevant to a criminal investigation. In the pen/trap or FISA situations, they do not even have to report where they served the order or what information they received. The EFF believes that the opportunities for abuse of these broad new powers are immense. For pen/trap orders, while ISPs or others who are not specifically named in the order do have the legal right to request certification from the Attorney General's office that the order applies to them, they have no right to request such confirmation from a court.
ISPs hand over more user information. The law makes two changes to increase how much information the government may obtain about users from their ISPs or others who handle or store their online communications. First it allows ISPs to voluntarily hand over all "non-content" information to law enforcement with no need for any court order or subpoena. §212. Second, it expands the records that the government may seek with a simple subpoena (no court review required) to include records of session times and durations, temporarily assigned network (I.P.) addresses, and means and source of payments, including credit card or bank account numbers. §§210, 211.
New definitions of terrorism expand scope of surveillance. One new definition of terrorism and three expansions of previous definitions also expand the scope of surveillance. PATRIOT §802's definition of "domestic terrorism" (amending 18 USC §2331) raises concerns about legitimate protest activity being prosecuted as terrorism, especially if violence erupts, while additions to three existing definitions of terrorism (int'l terrorism per 18 USC §2331, terrorism transcending national borders per 18 USC §2332b, and federal terrorism per amended 18 USC §2332b(g)(5)(B)) expose more people to surveillance (and potential "harboring" and "material support" liability, §§803, 805).
Overbreadth with a lack of focus on terrorism. Several provisions of PATRIOT have no apparent connection to preventing terrorism. These include:
Government spying on suspected computer trespassers with no need for court order. §217.
Adding samples to DNA database for those convicted of "any crime of violence." §503. This provision allows collection of DNA for terrorists, but then inexplicably also allows collection for the broad, non-terrorist category of "any crime of violence."
Wiretaps now allowed for suspected violations of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. This includes anyone suspected of exceeding authorized access to a computer used in interstate commerce and thereby causing over $5000 worth of combined damage.
Dramatic increases to the scope and penalties of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. These include: 1) raising the maximum penalty for violations to 10 years (from 5) for a first offense and 20 years (from 10) for a second offense; 2) ensuring that violators only need to intend to cause damage generally, not intend to cause damage or other specified harm over the $5,000 statutory damage threshold; 3) allowing aggregation of damages to different computers over a year to reach the $5,000 threshold; 4) enhancing punishment for violations involving any (not just $5,000) damage to a government computer involved in criminal justice or the military; 5) including damage to foreign computers involved in U.S. interstate commerce; 6) including state law offenses as priors for sentencing; 7) expanding the definition of loss to expressly include time spent on investigation, response, damage assessment and restoration.
Allows Americans to be More Easily Spied Upon by U.S. Foreign Intelligence Agencies. Just as the domestic law enforcement surveillance powers have expanded, the corollary powers under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act have also been greatly expanded, including:
General Expansion of FISA Authority. FISA authority to spy on Americans or foreign persons in the U.S. (and those who communicate with them) increased from situations where obtaining foreign intelligence information is "the" purpose of the surveillance to anytime that it is "a significant purpose" of the surveillance.
Increased information sharing between domestic law enforcement and intelligence. This is a partial repeal of the wall put up in the 1970s after the discovery that the FBI and CIA had been conducting investigations on over half a million Americans during the McCarthy era and afterwards, including the pervasive surveillance of Martin Luther King in the 1960s. It allows wiretap results, grand jury information and other evidence collected in a criminal case to be disclosed to the intelligence agencies when the information constitutes foreign intelligence information.
FISA detour around federal domestic surveillance limitations; domestic detour around FISA limitations. Domestic surveillance limits can be skirted by the Attorney General, for instance, by obtaining a FISA wiretap against a U.S. person where "probable cause" does not exist, but when the person is suspected to be an agent of a foreign government. The information can then be shared with the FBI. The reverse is also true.
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| goverment ties is why the goverment lies |
[15 Nov 2004|06:14pm] |
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this is why we cant trust the bush amminitration
but dont take my word for it, read it... http://www.epic.org/privacy/terrorism/hr3162.html
http://www.wsws.org/articles/2002/oct2002/well-o29.shtml
Senator Paul Wellstone was, ''the first 1960s radical elected to the U.S. Senate.'' In Senate Race 2002, the White House made defeating Wellstone priority #1. Karl Rove hand-picked arch Republican Norm Coleman to run against him. Despite massive funding, Coleman was trailing the popular Wellstone two weeks before election day.
Then, tragedy struck. On the morning of October 25th, 2002, Wellstone was killed after a mysterious communication cut-out and crash of his small aircraft. He died alongside his wife Sheila, their daughter Marcia, three staff members, and two pilots, while trying to land at Minnesota’s Eveleth airfield. CNN’s Wolf Blitzer insisted to his reporter at the scene that foul weather was the lethal factor in the crash, despite the statements to the contrary from the CNN correspondent. To this day, the public tends to blame the weather.
Ph.D. Professors James Fetzer and Don "Four Arrows" Jacobs present the harrowing truth. The weather didn’t bring down Senator Wellstone. Nor were the two pilots incompetent, as the ridiculous report of the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) eventually claimed.
The facts point elsewhere: the FBI happened to arrive at the remote rural crash scene a startling two hours after the crash. Did they know about it in advance? The FBI forbade the ambulance and fire teams to take photos. Even the AP photographer on hand was intimidated, delayed and then highly monitored. For some reason, a member of the U.S. Capitol Police Dignitary Protection Division was also present.
Why did these representatives of law enforcement illegally remove evidence before the NTSB arrived to investigate, seven hours later? Why did the FBI state that they were treating the site as a "crime scene" although there were "no indications of any criminal activity?" How could the FBI swiftly conclude and state publicly, before NTSB arrived, that there was "no evidence of terrorism" involved? How could they know?
American Assassination confirms the worst fears of a nation. Senator Paul Wellstone was murdered.
Both authors are decorated university professors. A Native American, Four Arrows (a.k.a. Dr. Don Jacobs) teaches educational leadership and is a staunch critic of US foreign policy. Dr. Jim Fetzer is a published expert on U.S. political assassinations and the logic of science. Although no one can prove exactly what happened in the events leading to Wellstone’s death, these two Ph.D.s point out the official story’s inconsistencies and deliberate omissions. With a methodical argument, they present evidence of an official cover-up, a compelling motive for Wellstone’s assassination, and a more probable explanation for how Senator Wellstone was downed. Their facts point to a new conclusion:
There was never any distress call from the pilots. Communication was somehow cut off shortly before the crash.
NTSB’s Carol Carmody handled the Wellstone case. A former CIA official, Carmody is a damage-control expert who handled the NTSB’s investigation of the suspicious aircraft crash of Democratic Senatorial candidate Mel Carnahan, exactly two years earlier.
NTSB is legally mandated to take jurisdiction over a crash scene, yet they let the FBI tamper with evidence. The NTSB failed to mention the FBI’s presence in their report.
The NTSB did not consider all of the available evidence!
Some witnesses heard the engines cutting out, a phenomenon not consistent with a stall.
Others reported odd cell-phone and garage-door phenomena that were taking place about the same time the plane lost both communications and control.
The NTSB's own simulations, which replicated properties like those of King Air A-100s under similar conditions, were unable to bring the plane down—even when conducted under abnormally slow speeds!
One of the members who actually signed the report, Richard Healing, admitted that they really had no idea what had caused the plane to crash.
Since becoming active in this issue, normal citizens contacted Professor Fetzer and related strange electronic communications interference in the area at the time of the crash. The automatic garage doors in entire neighborhoods mysteriously opened. Cell phones experienced never-before-heard kinds of static. These auditory patterns eerily match those created by "electro-magnetic pulse" (EMP) weapons recently developed by the Pentagon to jam the computer-assisted controls of an enemy aircraft. Radar images from the time of the crashes of both Senators Carnahan and Wellstone match the profile for EMP fingerprints. EMPs not only jam an airplane’s electronics, they disable the radio communication of the plane.
In the wake of the crash, 69% of Minnesoteans blamed "A GOP Conspiracy" for Wellstone’s death. In appendices to American Assassination, Wellstone’s courageous stands against the rich and powerful continue to inspire us. Our epilogue presents highlights from Wellstone’s agenda, and his speech "On Iraq." His opposition to the oligarchy helps the reader understand why Wellstone was assassinated. When the reader meets Wellstone in his own words, his vision is kept alive and lives on in each of us, despite the desires of the
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[22 Mar 2004|10:08pm] |
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Friends only ask to be added!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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